Bowser's Woodland Desperation
by AJ the BlueJay
Summary: OMORASHI: Dimble Wood is not a place you want to get lost in. Especially when you're the King of the Koopas struggling with a full bladder.


Bowser wiped his mouth as he made his way into Dimble Wood. He had earlier taken a good long drink from the Sea Pipe Statue before heading into the wood and felt refreshed and revitalized for his journey home. Bowser was itching to think up another plan to kidnap Peach so he was feeling excited as the sands of Plack Beach gave way to grass and dense trees. As he started to stomp his way in, he felt a slight twinge "down below". It had only been 10 or so minutes since his guzzling session, and it seemed his bladder was starting to fill up.

"Whatever," Bowser said to himself, "I'll be able to get through this and make it home in time. I could wait for hours!" His Grouchiness considered his bladder hard as steel. Besides, he was King of the Koopas! He was certainly capable of holding it all the way home, and that's exactly what he was going to do. Unfortunately for Bowser, though his strength was mighty for his girth, the strength of his brain was not as mighty.

Bowser kept on walking, paying his bladder no mind, but every way he seemed to turn in the forest, it led him to the exact same clearing. He had been going around in circles and was beginning to get impatient. To make matters worse, the twinge he had was now growing stronger, and it wasn't long until the need to pee made itself clearly known unto Bowser. Since it wasn't too bad yet, it was mainly felt in and around the slit in his crotch and not in the bladder itself. Bowser still felt it and was growing frustrated. He knew he had to make it home to go, but the way things were going, he would be stuck in the woods for a while. Bowser tried to think about landmarks in the wood to turn his mind away from the urge, and it seemed to help him remember the right path home. He needed to look for a river. He set off again, walking this time with a slight sway to ease the feeling and hold it in.

By the time he reached the river, the need to go had increased to a strong fullness. Bowser was relieved that things were finally going his way, but that momentary relaxing sharply increased the need. The babbling of the surging water also influenced his nearly full bladder, which led Bowser to start dancing in place without him even realizing it. He stepped from side to side and even squished his large thighs together to ease his bladder. He looked around for the right patch of trees to enter and became visibly upset when it was hard to remember due to his pressing need.

"Ugh, why did I drink so much?" Bowser groaned as he crossed his legs together. "This shouldn't be happening to me, I'm not some lily-livered chump that can't control his own needs!" It was happening though and his urge grew to a head as his bladder started to ache and his crotch started to throb. He looked down and saw that his slit area was actually swollen and protruding slightly due to his bladder's size. Looking around first to make sure no one was around to laugh, Bowser reached down to his slit and grabbed it. It trembled with tension under his palm, and he rubbed their soft scales to relieve his pain. He finally saw the right patch of trees and instantly jogged through, taking care to minimize the shaking.

As he reached a clearing, still clutching his crotch, he was ecstatic to see Bowser's Castle facing his direction. It was only a few minutes away, and so was his royal bathroom. As Bowser thought of the toilet his aching bladder suffered a contraction. He pushed on his crotch with both hands to keep the pain in but became wide-eyed when he felt wetness on his hands. He had leaked! He opened and closed his thighs together and rubbed his slit to keep the rest in. The wetness on his crotch made it feel like it was filling with his urine, and he gritted his teeth and became red in the face as he performed his dreaded potty dance out in the open. He was still convinced that he could hold it all the way home and started walking with his hands still gripping his crotch to turn this potential disaster into a mere close call.

As he neared the drawbridge, his bladder was in pain. Not even rubbing his slit could ease his tension, and he resigned to jogging with his hands still grabbing his groin. He neared the intercom outside the drawbridge and pressed the button to call the drawbridge operator. As the dial tone rang, Bowser grabbed his crotch, rubbed his thighs together, bounced from side to side, anything to keep from leaking again.

"Hello, name and reason for visit," said a voice through the intercom's speaker.

"Yes, this is King Bowser! Open the drawbridge!" Bowser said. His voice quivered from his bladder's pain and the sheer strength it too to hold back his floodgates.

"Ah, welcome back, Your Badness. One moment please."

"Hurry, please. I don't think I'm going to make it!"

"Make it where, Your Grouchiness?"

"To the toilet, you imbecile! Now open this door!" Bowser screamed, with all the frustration, embarrassment, and pain he felt at that present moment. As he said that he leaked again and froze in place as he felt it spurt out of his slit, drip down his thighs, and onto the grass. Bowser danced faster and resumed rubbing his crotch, hoping it would buy him a little more time. It didn't however, and as the drawbridge was starting to lower over the moat, Bowser felt a longer spurt leak out of his opening. He stuffed his middle finger inside of his slit as a last ditch effort to hold it back, but it was too little too late. The feeling of something inside it increased the feeling tenfold, and he felt his bladder give a painful jolt, then felt his urine pouring out. It started slowly at first but increased rapidly.

"Nononononononono…" Bowser said to himself as he wet himself in front of his drawbridge. It felt warm as it cascaded out from his hands, and surged down his thighs. Just then the drawbridge slammed onto the ground and the Koopa operating the crank had a full view of Bowser's accident. He was in shock as he saw a puddle grow beneath Bowser's smushed legs, and Bowser himself removing his hands from his crotch as he resigned to the overwhelming relief he felt. The Koopa snuck away without Bowser seeing him, his face red with embarrassment. As the last drops flowed out from his slit, Bowser sighed at this turn of events. He was even more relieved when he saw not a soul around to see his predicament. He thought he had gotten away scot-free and decided to go on as if nothing had happened. He shook his crotch to remove the last couple of beads hanging from his slit and walked inside to take a royal shower. As he saw Bowser walk right past him, the drawbridge Koopa walked out from his hiding place and ran to his break room where a bunch of Koopa Troopas were relaxing.

"Guys," he yelled as he burst through the door, "You're not going to believe what I just saw King Bowser do…"


End file.
